Tuesday, April 22, 2014

There's a parrot in our midst

After worrying about L's speech, he's decided to catch up almost overnight. This is fantastic and we are relieved; however, I'm starting to realize how much of a potty mouth I have and how inappropriate some of the things that we watch on tv with him around are.

Just today L overheard someone on tv saying "bitch" and like the little parrot he is next thing we hear is "itch!" We try to stifle our laugh so he doesn't realize that he's done anything noteworthy and change the channel. So far he doesn't seem to have added these colorful words permanently to his vocabulary, just repeats them when he hears them and moves on.

Here couple other gems L has repeated:

"Ow! Its" (me saying ow my tits are killing me)
"Uck" (fuck)
"It uck, it" (shit, fuck, shit after stubbing my toe)
"Uck oh" (fuck snow)

I think it's officially time to tone the language down to a G rating...fuck.

Friday, March 21, 2014


L has been potty trained for a couple months now. We did Lora Jensen's Three Day Potty Training, it took us four days but we didn't follow it to the letter. We tried it in November but he just wasn't ready, this time around he did great.

For this story to make sense you need to know that L is obsessed with brushing his teeth, like crazy obsessed. You should also know that L has the craziest sphincter control of anyone, probably ever. If there is a Guinness World Record for sphincter control, L could win it hands down.

 L knows when he uses the washroom, he gets to flush it down the big potty. L also knows that his toothbrush is kept in the washroom where the big potty is. (Do you see where this is going?). All day long L will squeeze out little rabbit turds, one at a time so he can flush it and brush his teeth. I'm not kidding, he can do this for several hours in a row plopping out one rabbit sized poop every 5-10 minutes, and then brushing his teeth. As annoying as it can be, I'm mainly just impressed.

I swear we give the kid toys and books, but they just occupy him long enough to set up the next turd so he can get that sweet, sweet toothbrush. Maybe he'll become a dentist and he can put us in a good home someday, I'd be ok with that.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014


I haven't been on here in a while. Honestly, life has been crazy and this doesn't even make the list of things to do.

A was able to find some seasonal work over the holidays, but is back to being officially unemployed. He has a knack for finding great deals on things and selling them for a profit on ebay, which has helped keep us afloat. While money is tight, we both like that L has a parent home with him. While A's ebay activity is helping to keep us afloat, so is my picking up extra hours. When I returned from mat leave, I came back part-time but I've had to pick up extra shifts to equal full time to keep our budget working. I interviewed for a full time position yesterday, we'll see now that goes. It will at least give me a more predictable schedule and more pay.

I have also been taking classes online. I signed up for two classes, but didn't realize that I was getting three. One of my classes is health and wellness, which is divided into two "modules" this semester (it's a year long class). One is psyc and the other is anatomy. Each of these "modules" has their own separate professors, their own sets of assignments and exams, but it's one class. If I had known this when I signed up for it, I probably would have only taken the one class. Keeping up with a full time work schedule, and school would be doable if I didn't have an adorable two year old to take care of.

Speaking of my adorable two year, his speech is mildly delayed. We went in for an assessment, and were referred to a speech pathologist. They gave us a name of a book to read which should help him and us figure this out. The only problem is when I have a minute to read, I read my books for school. There's a deadline in a couple of days for an assignment I have to complete. I know my son should be first, but the deadline of the school assignment is tangible, so that's what I default to.

I feel like shit. I feel like I don't see my son enough as it is with work. 3 days a week I come home I time to put him down for his nap, he gets up and I basically have supper to bedtime with him that it and then I try to squeeze in my homework after he's gone to bed. A lot of days it seems like he favours A. I've only gotten 3 or 4 chapters into the book the speech pathologist gave me, and I've had it for 4 weeks already. I feel the weight of my son's world on my shoulders and I don't feel strong enough. I'm crumbling, it started slowly at first but with each passing day I feel like I'm eroding faster  and faster. I can't wait for this semester to be over.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

26 Things To Do Before You Turn 26...Whether You're Married Or Not

In the last week or so there have been many variations of __ things to do instead of getting married/engaged by age ___. The one that seems to have started it can be found here.

Something about these articles always seems to rub me the wrong way. It may be because I got married at 21 myself, or it may be because these articles are full of utter non-sense. Included in this list is things like get a passport, adopt a pet, make a cake, cut your hair and eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting. Well I had a passport when I got married, and had to get another one with my married name on it, then I got two more when my son was born (one for Canada, and one for USA). I'm actually sick of passport paperwork thank you. I've cut my hair numerous times since my wedding (do people stop cutting their hair after they say "I do"? I made a cake just last week for my son's birthday, but I didn't eat much of it because I'm not a big cake person.

Most of the things on the list can be done married or not and don't really seem to have any purpose. Is my life going to be better because single me ate a jar of Nutella? I don't even like Nutella, but I bet I would feel gross if I did, and there's nothing stopping me from doing it since I'm married.

Now I'm not even going to speculate on what the "right" age to get engaged or married is. It is a highly individual thing. One 20 year old maybe ready while a 50 year old may not. That's not the point of this post though.

Instead of all these lists about things pertaining to our relationship statuses, I want to propose a list of things to better ourselves. Whether we are married, or single there's always room to grow. So here we are, a list of 26 things to do whether you are married or not:

1. Read non-fiction books.

2. Explore religions. Not just your own, but other religions as well. I'm not saying you should convert to any religion, or even have a religion at all, just explore.

3. Travel. Whether it's somewhere exotic or a small town a few hours away that you've never visited. Get out in the world in whatever way you can.

4. Take a class. I'm married, with a two year old, I work full-time, and I'm in two classes this semester. I'm not saying you should always be enrolled in school, or that it even has to be something academic, but you should never stop learning.

5. Do charity work. Find a cause you are passionate about, and help out.

6. Learn how to budget, and stick to it.

7. Add something healthy to your lifestyle. Make small changes, one at a time and it will add up over time.

8. Learn how to cook well. Cooking is an essential life skill whether you are a man or a woman, and if you can do it well, you'll impress your dates/spouses for years to come.

9. Open a retirement savings account. There are many types, and they vary depending on where you live. Do your research, future you will be very thankful that you did this.

10. Keep a journal. It's fun to look back and see how far you've come, and where you've been.

11. Try new foods. You might discover something awesome and new, or you might gag and almost throw up. Either way it will be a good story.

12.Write letters. Whether it's a thank you note to your grandma or a love letter to your significant other. It may seem old fashioned or out of date, but even millennials appreciate a hand written note.

13. Develop a filing system at home. Life is so much easier when you can find your important documents easily, rather than sorting through piles of stuff that has accumulated.

14. Write a will. No one likes to think about these things, but it's important.

15. Hang out with kids. Whether you have your own, or you're the fun aunt/uncle to someone, hang out with them. Seeing the world through their innocent eyes can really help ground you.

16. Buy a lottery ticket, and dream about what you would do with the winnings.

17. Make a dream board or bucket list. Put crazy things that may not be attainable, as well as reachable goals. Put it somewhere you will see it, and start working towards them.

18. Improve your relationships. Whether it's with friends, family, boyfriends/girlfriends or spouses. Apologize for your mistakes, and forgive others. Work on your communication.

19. Develop your hobbies. Everyone needs a hobby, something they do for only themselves. Carve out time, and do it. If you paint, learn a new technique, if you knit learn a new stitch etc.

20. Loosen up. Learn how to let go of things we can't control, and how to have a sense of humour in tough situations. This comes naturally for some, but for others it takes work.

21. Do something fun regularly. Yes life can be stressful, and we can get bogged down in work and family stuff. Take an hour and do something fun. See a movie, go skating, go to the beach or whatever you find to be fun.

22. Get pampered, at least once. Get a professional massage, or facial and enjoy the pure relaxation.

23.  Go a week without technology. No cell phones, tablets or tv. Learn to be alone with your own thoughts.

24. Splurge on something. It doesn't have to be a Gucci bag (but wouldn't that be nice!), just something that feels like a treat.

25.  Visit your grandparents as often as possible. As an adult you have a new kind of appreciation for them. Their stories and wisdom mean something more. Someday you may wish you had spent more time with them when you had the chance.

26. Cut your hair, because everyone needs a least a trim from time to time.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Obligatory New Year Post!

What a crazy few months it has been! I got off all my antidepressants. It was rought at the time, but I made it through. About a week after I took the last dose the side effects had made it to a manageable level, and I was ready to go back to work, that is until I had a mysterious upper left abdominal pain.  They initially thought that it was kidney stones or a kidney infection, but all that turned up clear. A week and a half later they figured out it was bronchitis; which still puzzles my doctor, but the X-Ray showed it, and the antibiotics fixed it. I guess I'm weird. In all I was off of work for 3 weeks.

A couple weeks later was Christmas and L's 2nd birthday.  My baby is 2, I don't remember how this happened! 

He was really into his decorations. 

During all this illness, holiday and birthday excitement we have decided to move from Canada to America and figured out (we think) and filed the intital paperwork for my green card. It's a long and confusing process.

For 2014 I've decided to continue to make steps to being healthier. First step was eliminating medications I no longer needed, the next step for me is juicing. I have been making vegetable/fruit juices with a juicer we got for Christmas. They're mostly gross, but they're good for you. I hate most vegetables, so this allows me to get a lot more veggies in my body than I ever would eating. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to try a juice fast ( or juice feast, depending on who you talk to), but not today.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I did it!

I am finally off of anti-depressants! On November 18th I took my last Pristiq. I already knew I was going to feel like crap so I decided what the hell and didn't take any more of my Wellbutrin either. (My doctor wasn't very happy that I went rouge). The first week was hell on wheels. My mom was over, or watched L almost every day that A was working. Towards the end of it I was able to watch L ok on my own, I just didn't feel great and we watched a lot of Thomas and Friends.

3 weeks out and I feel pretty good. The second week off I developed a severe pain in my upper left abdomen that was initially diagnosed as a kidney infection, then later bronchitis which surprised everyone. I'm not sure if it's related or a coincidence that it happened so soon after coming off of the meds, but I don't really care right now.

I'm glad I'm off, and I saw it through. It was very tempting to go pop a 50mg Pristiq I had laying around at times as I knew it would provide some relief, but ultimately it would have just forced me to start all over. I still have the odd brain zap here or there, but nothing that I can't handle. Once I finish my antibiotics in two days I'll officially be med free for the first time in years, I'm looking forward to it.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

My Birth Story

I love reading birth stories, and I've had a few friends lately who had babies so I've been reading a lot of them lately. I realized that I hadn't shared my birth story on here, or rather L's birth story.

L had breech at every ultrasound I had ever had. Between me falling in the snow, and having borderline too much fluid, I was being ultrasounded pretty regularly. My doctor decided to just schedule a c-section for me for January 13, 2012, and if he turned he turned. She was not optimistic at all that he would turn though the longer he stayed breech

It was December 28, 2011 and I was getting ready for my prenatal appointment I had at 2pm. I was 36 weeks and 5 days at this point. I had just gotten out of the shower, popped some food in the oven and I went to use the washroom. I walked into the living room and felt a little squirt, and thought to myself 'now I now I'm 8 months pregnant, but there's no way I just peed myself immediately after using the washroom, it's not possible'. It was very possible. I was home alone, so I decided to drop trou right there in the living room and investigate. I had just stepped out of my pants when I heard a massive splash on the hardwood floor, then another, and another. I looked down in shock and found myself standing in the middle of Lake freaking Ontario! I waddled over to the phone and called my husband who was at work and informed him that my water broke. He answered the phone and I just blurted out "My water broke, it's everywhere!" Now I'm known for lying/making jokes about these types of things, but there must have been a difference in my voice because he didn't question me. He just said "I'm on my way" and hung up, even though I was still talking to him.

Now no one prepared me for the whole water breaking thing. I had no idea that it would continue to gush like a geyser for hours. After hanging up the phone with my husband I called my parents to let them know what was going on. My dad was supposed to pick up me up for my appointment that day as A couldn't get the time off. My dad immediately posted it on facebook, and I had to tell him to take it down. My next course of action was to clean up the flood of amniotic fluid that was taking over my bathroom. I got some paper towel and started wiping it up. The problem was every time I bent over a new and bigger gush of water would come splashing out, and to make matters worse our dog was trying to eat it. Eventually I just threw a bunch of paper towel on the floor, grabbed the dog and the phone and went to the bathroom upstairs and called my husband to warn him about the water hazard downstairs.

I didn't know what to do, the amount of water coming out of me was horrifying, so I stood in the bathtub and let the dog run around the bathroom. It was the only thing I could think of to contain the fluids leaking out of me, and to keep the dog from eating them. Eventually A got home and found me in the bathroom, and was really confused. I ordered him to bring me some of the diapers we had purchased for L. I remembered someone telling me to use those as they are much more absorbent. I went through several size 4 Huggies in the hour long process it took us to pack our bags and leave. Because of the aforementioned scheduled c-section we thought we had a couple weeks, and never bothered to pack our bags.

We get to the hospital and they realize that I'm pre-term and decide that they are keeping me. Aside from soaking wet pants, and a constant gush whenever I moved I was pretty comfortable. I wasn't having any contractions, and a quick ultrasound revealed that A had flipped and was head down. No c-section for me! It is suspected that A turned is what caused my water to break. We got settled in our room, then went down the cafeteria before they started the pitocin. By midnight I still wasn't having any contractions and they decided to turn off the pitocin for a few hours, saying that sometimes if you give the body a break once they start it back up things kick into gear. We tried to get some sleep, and I'm not sure what time they turned the pitocin back on but by 6am my back was killing me.

I decided to try to get in the bath, as they had a ginormous bathtub that I had been looking forward to. I got in, and A sat on the edge and was gently kicking one of his feet in the water. This was the first glimpse A would get into labouring Jessica. I told him to stop once nice, and he pretty much did but it's practically impossible to not move at all in water. Every little swoosh of water felt like I was being hit in the back by a 2x4, and A was causing it to happen. I got out of the bath, and the nurse checked me. Given the amount of pain I was in I figured we were making progress. We weren't. I was at 1 lousy centimeter. The baby wasn't coming anytime soon and the nurse gave me a shot of something in my ass. I'm not sure what it was, but for an hour or so I was high as a kite. It was wonderful.

Sadly the high didn't last long, and when I came down the pain was worse than before. From about 7am-11:30am I don't remember much of what happened, other than the most excruciating back pain of my life. I was begging for an epidural, but I was still only at 1cm and I had to get to 4cm. My mom and A still tell me about conversations that went on during that period, or things that I said that I have no recollection of. Since we were expecting a c-section, we did not practice any of those pain management techniques, so when A would try to put counter pressure on my back, it didn't work. The nurse could do it, and I would feel great relief. A swears he was doing the exact same thing as her, and it made me feel worse. Maybe it was my subconscious blaming him for all the pain.

Shortly after 11am I was checked again and I was at 3cm. I was devastated, so close to 4 but so far. Apparently 3 was good enough because the nurse ran out to find the anesthesiologist before he got pulled into surgery. The doctor comes in and says that there's risks, blah blah blah did I want him to go over them. Hell no I didn't, just get that juice in my spine. The epidural went in easy peasy and almost immediately I felt relief, and within 15 minutes or so I felt nothing.

The hospital I was at uses a walking epidural, so whenever I moved my legs it would have that tingly feeling, like they were asleep. I took and nap and relaxed a bit. A few hours later at 3pm I was 10cm! It took me almost 24 hours to get to 3cm, but once they gave me that epidural I got the last 7cm in 3.5 hours. Not too shabby. The nurse said I could push now, or wait up to 2 hours and let him come down a little more on his own. I wasn't in a hurry, and chose to wait.

My plan the whole time was to have A as far away from the action as possible, but they had him holding one of my legs. I insisted that he look at my face the whole time, and apparently he was taking pictures.

Here I am mid-push

At 6:30pm after about an hour of pushing, out popped our little L. He was cute despite being covered in goop, and all the anxiety I had during pregnancy about bonding disappeared. He was perfect but also he was 5.5 hours shy of being full-term, which meant we were in the hospital for an extra couple days while they ran some tests and kept an eye on him. But he was healthy and happy, and so were we.